Help, I'm Bored

Help Remedies is an ethical New York based pharmaceutical company with absolutely brilliant packaging

I've never actually tried their product (seems to only be available in New York), but when I checked out their home page I fell in love with their Help I'm Bored page.

Please do have a look if you're bored. It will help. I highly recommend "Help, I am ugly" and "Help, I Don't Know if I am Gay"

You'll need to allow pop-ups.

They also slip bits of sly humour into their other pages. From the "sincere apologies " section of their Help, I Have Allergies page:

Dear sneeze fetishist,

Sorry. Help remedies does not intend to deprive anyone of the things that they love in life. In order to counterbalance the impact of “help I have allergies,” help remedies hereby provides www.helpihaveasneezingfetish.com. We hope this will make up for some of the sadness we have caused you.

Found via the brilliant packaging porn site The Dieline

Can We Trade in Our Car...

... for a Chevy?

This ad fills me with great confidence:



Couldn't find the Canadian version on Youtube, but it's almost identical.

If you really want to see it go here and click on "What the New GM is going to look like" video.

Fills me with confidence, oh yes it does.

All I can say is that I'm glad we don't have an American car.

We do own an American work van. But it's ancient and paid for and when it dies, it dies.

Secret: I actually find the seat in our crappy old van more comfortable than in our 2 year old car. But that's because I like to sit with my legs @ a 90 degree angle, and you can't do that in a car.

My Wife Would Like That!

This company must not have a marketing department.

At least not a sober one.

I think the laugh @ 0:16 just might be real.

And the "actors" pretty desperate for cash.

[Hilarious Commercial - The Wunder Boner]

Original Recipe...

Or extra nasty?

I wouldn't drink this if you paid me



But I would probably buy it for the box and then try to sucker a friend into trying it.

Best possible recipe: Melamine sunrise

Still need Christmas gifts? There are many fine looking products here. Note: product categories are not based on any logic I can understand.

Does Not Compute....

This is your modem:



This is your modem on drugs:


A brief photographic history of computing @ SFU.

There is tons of info out there about the history of computers, with many amusing images. I like this one (for image content - NOT page design).

My personal computer history runs about 20 years. That doesn't seem that long, until I watch this:



That was my first computer. No hard drive, so I stored my documents on this:


First lesson learned. Do not put computer storage cassettes in your car stereo. It's like listening to a fax tone set to 11.

Still waiting for some sort of direct neural interface. Think of all the rsi issues it would solve.

We still have a looonnnngggg way to go.

And For Adults It's Exciting!

From the makers of Ass Kicker.

This is where backwards compatible marketing would come in handy.



A fine Mego product.

Look @ That Horse

The bushy tail, the big teeth, the hooves...

Words completely fail me.



The next time somebody asks you for employment advise for their lazy good-for-nothing cousin / son / nephew, suggest they try for a job at Shop at Home TV. Looks like they aren't too picky.

In A World....

...Without an announcer.

Voiceover actor Don LaFontaine died last night at the age of 68.

And yes you do know who he was.

He was:



And:



But mostly he is known for movie trailers. This one is particularly fine!



How did I manage to miss that spiffy film.

Better:



Seems he did many previews for Cannon Films. One of the finer film companies out there.

And to finish. A short documentary about him.

Touch My Pen & Lose Karma Points

I have a number of pens at work at any one time that I really enjoy writing with (well as much as I can enjoy writing with any pen). These are usually "found" pens and so free. But because they are found they are usually irreplaceable.

They usually have some sort of advertisement on them. Currently on my desk:

• www.itsltduk.com - info technology supply ltd


• Enterprise Project Management


• Several pens from the now (unfortunately) defunkt Canadian Health Network


• City of Vancouver - Human Resources Services - Staff & Organization Development (From city courses)


• Time for a New Look? - Trushel - Thomson Talent


• And... and... Yup, looks like my very fave (from the US Navy of all places) is MIA.
  

See the problem is that these pens are constantly walking - with the assist of other people. Not on purpose - but still.

I have in the past put stickers on my current favourite pen. This post's title is being used right now to warn people away.

Well I think I found a solution via Unshelved. Pens that no-one in their right mind will want to borrow. I bring you the perfect pen:



Buy them at Perpetual Kid and be prepared for a lot of odd looks.

Go Indy, Go

[mediaatmidnight's photos]

Ok, sing along...

Da da da DA! Da da daaaaaaa. Da da da DaHHHHHHH! Da da da da DA.



I think this one will be worth going to the theatre for.

Official site and IMDb page.

And from the National Post: Indiana Jones and the Internet Marketing Campaign.

Fruitcake... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[ gnuf's photos]

I. Do. Not. Like. Fruitcake!

But then, who does?

It surprises me that there is still a viable market for fruitcake. A Google search brings up about 207,000 hits for fruitcake, and not one of the hits on the first page is negative. In fact one of the links is the pro-fruitcake Society for the Protection and Preservation of Fruitcake.

Sigh

I was perusing the newest videos at Will It Blend when I found this one:


[Will It Blend? - Holiday Hassles]


The fruitcake makes quite the mess.

This video is actually just a glorified ad for Bill Me Later and its subsite Operation Fruitcake

Operation Fruitcake doesn't have a lot of material yet, but it looks promising. Only 3 videos up so far. I like this one:

[Operation Fruitcake - Incinerator]


Just out of curiosity I Googled I hate fruitcake and came up with 266,000 hits. However on closer inspection there seems to be a lot of sites along the line of fruitcake for people who hate fruitcake

Here is a genuine fruitcake hater - bless him!

The I Hate Fruitcake Hate Page

While conducting my in-depth reserch for this post I ran across the videos of Marie Rudisill, "Ask the Fruitcake Lady" from the Tonight Show.

I had forgotten about her videos. Here's a classic:

[This LADY loved CAKE and FRUIT]


And to finish, an anti-fruitcake classic:

[Grandma's Killer Fruitcake]


And btw. A YouTube search for fruitcake gets you 694 results.

I Think My Brain Just Melted!

Under the heading of things I never thought I would see!

Click on the image for all the "fun" details

And it's playing in Vancouver:

Pickled Productions presents Debbie Does Dallas

Here is a promo from the L.A. run of the show. Make sure you have a bottle of bleach handy after you watch it (Pretty well safe for work)







And for the 4 of you who have never heard of it. Here's the Movie reference

Dear god I'm never writing about porn again

Bookmark Debris

Nothing exiting to post. I expect that I'll have some strike news in the next day or two, but until then enjoy some freshly mined crap!

I'm sure you've heard about the experiments that the CIA performed with LSD. But did you know that in your own lovely, placid, Canada equally atrocious experiments have taken place. It's true, and here is the video evidence:



For more examples of this type of "scientific study" please visit Hinterland Who's Who. And to file a complaint, please contact the Canadian Wildlife Service

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Under the category of You can't always get what you want - have a look at some lovely food!

This is what you ordered... This is what you get...



For more fine examples of the difference between fast food advertising and the actual crap that you get have a look at Fast Food: Ads vs. Reality

And I'll fess up. I do love me an Egg McMuffin. [cough - white trash cough], But I've recently discovered the vastly superior breakfast sandwich from Starbucks. I like the egg & sausage that they heat up until the cheese is all gooey. Gooey cheese = life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keeping with the advertisement theme. I sometimes wonder if the billboard companies even talk to their clients. It seems to me that you would want to know what other ads are going to appear near or next to yours. This holds true for all mediums. If you ran a cigarette company would you want your ad next to an article about lung cancer? Do you think a Tickle Me Elmo ad should appear next to an article about how some people like stuffed animals a little too much.

Well here is a perfect example of how a lack of communication can cause me great joy:



Somehow I almost feel like I should have labeled that NSFW.

For more gleeful examples pay a visit to the Unfortunately Placed Ads page at I Am bored.

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And to finish off. Toilets!

We usually don't have a hard time finding the bathrooms in restaurant / bars / sports arenas / dungeons, because we are all familiar with the standards for signage. This is the norm:



But that's here in North America. I found a great site that shows examples from all over the world. Some are easy to understand but humorous. Like this one that I love:



And some make make you think a bit:



Have a beverage, or 6, or 10, or 23. Loosen your slacks and enjoy 59 Of The Coolest Toilet Signs Around The World

Skittles

Mamapop had a link to a rather freakish Skittles commercial.

It made me think of their old ads, so innocent, so boppy, so sickenly sweet.

Here is the evolution of the skittles ad:

Then (1986)



Now (2007)



Bonus ad! (also 2007)



Don't you miss the old days when everyone understood virtue and innocence!

Flotsam, And Her Good Friend Jetsam - Part II

Time to clean out some of the crap quality material from my 'add to blog' folder.

[Futurama - Raiders of the Lost Arcade]


I remember all of these games, even played most of them. Even Q*bert (little orange round dude with big nose and no arms who gets off the spaceship near the end of the video). Great episode of Futurama, except for the Rush part - can't stand Geddy Lee.

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Put together by Norm Fisher, a Saskatoon realtor. Enjoy the Unbelievably Bad Real Estate Photos Hall of Fame. A slideshow collection of really terrible real estate photos with commentary by Mr. Fisher. After his introduction click on the "run" button, and don't just stare at the screen for five minutes (like I did) waiting for something to happen (d'oh). Keep in mind that this fellow is NOT a professional actor, however I think he created a rather humorous piece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Queen's hit as performed by "25 of the most annoying voices in the music industry"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Robot Chicken - Calvin & Hobbes: The Untold Story]

via videosift.com

You either know Robot Chicken, or you don't. If you don't know Calvin and Hobbes then you are no longer my friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally: 112 different ways of saying "Oh my god! There's an axe in my head,"


Enjoy!

VERY specialized bank

Very bizarre (at least to Non-Mormons) commercial for Deseret First Credit Union. A bank for Mormons only. To quote their web page:

Deseret First's charter is to serve members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints throughout the United States. We like to think this makes us different.

I'm familiar with some of the specialized banks we have here for people work for specific companies or in specific industries. Such as the credit union for the Vancouver police or the Compensation Employees Credit Union for employees of compo. But I've never seen one associated with a religion before.

I stand corrected.

Fight, Fight, Fight....

This is a great ad for Absolut vodka

I think they should take this idea to Iraq.

I'z On Your Computer Makin Da Wurdz

Apparently this is an actual problem. I know that my old cat used to like sleeping in top of the monitor, but I don't remember him sending email - Although I did wonder about all those free Pounce coupons that came in the mail.

Well if you suffer from typing cat, there is a solution.

Introducing PawSense. A program that teaches your computer the difference between your typing and your cat typing. If it detects the cat it disables your keyboard and plays an annoying sound, thereby reducing kitty errors to your PC.

A screenshot:



Although it seems to me that cats like printers and monitors more than keyboards.

Evidence:




And my Favourite.



Of course Brat doesn't need a computer, she goes outside to check her p-mail (Badum Dum!)

I think cats are generally more interactive with things like computers than dogs are. Although this dog is quite curious. (Reminds me of our old dog Baily)

What Are You Looking For?

I thought I would do an entry highlighting some of the searches people use that find this blog.

Needless to say no-one is actually looking for ME! (My poor, poor ego) but they end up here anyway.

I use a web statistics site called Statcounter that lists everyone that visits this site. You can sort site stats in many ways, including the top keywords used to find you.

Here are some of the top ones listed for this blog, and my interpretation of what they where looking for.

But first, a Google lesson. If you put your search terms in quotes Google searches the words as a phrase. For example searching for "Vancouver public library" will find you more relevant results than just the words Vancouver public library without the quotation marks. The second search found this site: Fort Vancouver Regional Library District, when what I was looking for was this site: Vancouver Public Library.

Also, Google is not a natural language search engine. You will have better results with "Vancouver Public Library" than: where is the library is Vancouver?

If you want to become an effective Google user, have a look at some of these links: "Google tutorial"

You're welcome.

Now on to the results.

The number one search is (with variations)
~~ funny stanley steamer tv dog commercial ~~

This is the blog entry they found.

And this is what they were looking for:



Another popular search:
~~ false internet forward, soapbox rant ~~

This one didn't lead to a particular posting here, and frankly I can't figure out what the hell they are looking for. Any clues anyone?

Here is one of my Favourite searches:
~~ hmmm ~~

Yup, that's it, that's the search. Not. A. Clue.

Maybe it's some retro kid looking for the video for "Things That Make You Go Hmmm" Well offer it up, the video ain't on YouTube. The fact that I actually looked is really, really depressing.

Here's another odd search:
~~ myspace quiz so far in 2007 ~~

It landed the searcher here. (All my entries with the label "quiz")

But I think they may have wanted this: So Far in 2007 Survey. (At least I can't find anything better)

Whatever....

Another one that defies logic:
~~ hip bones poked ~~

I don't think I want to know what they were looking for, but this entry is what they found. Doubt that's what they wanted.

And to finish, something completely not relevant.

I was at the reference desk today looking over the newspaper and I had this conversion with my (much, much younger) colleague.

Me: "Hey, Charles Nelson Reilly died!"
Her: "Who?"
Me: "You know, the guy from The Match Game"
Her: "What?"
Me: "Never mind"

Mr. Reilly on Match Game (longish video)

Wiener Walks 2007

A lot of people searching for the local wiener events have found their way to this page.

No worries people, the two big events are still a long way off.

However if you'd like some more info here it is.

The first event is the Dachshund Fun Day put on by the Miniature Dachshund Club of BC (MDCBC)

It happens every year on the second Saturday in July at the Peace Arch Park in White Rock. For more info look at the clubs Events page.

This event is still smallish, but a lot of fun. Lots of games for the pooches as well as their humans. As well as food and drinks.

The other bigger event is the annual Dachshund Picnic & Wiener Walk. It takes place on the second Sunday in August in Winskill Park in Tsawassen.

The details on this years event haven't been posted yet, but keep an eye on The Canadian Dachshund Lovers Page. The info is usually posted near the top of the page.

Here's a CTV news clip from the 2003 picnic.

I'll post updates closer to the event times.

And what's a wiener post without some silly wiener videos. Here's a few I like from YouTube:

This wiener has some serious OCD issues. But I like the fact that's he's self exercising:



I love this Sprint ad from a few years ago:



Not smart. Cute, but really not smart:



And last but certainly not least. Our little Brat last November in the snow. Not very deep by many peoples standards, but very deep to a wiener.