What Are You Looking For?

I thought I would do an entry highlighting some of the searches people use that find this blog.

Needless to say no-one is actually looking for ME! (My poor, poor ego) but they end up here anyway.

I use a web statistics site called Statcounter that lists everyone that visits this site. You can sort site stats in many ways, including the top keywords used to find you.

Here are some of the top ones listed for this blog, and my interpretation of what they where looking for.

But first, a Google lesson. If you put your search terms in quotes Google searches the words as a phrase. For example searching for "Vancouver public library" will find you more relevant results than just the words Vancouver public library without the quotation marks. The second search found this site: Fort Vancouver Regional Library District, when what I was looking for was this site: Vancouver Public Library.

Also, Google is not a natural language search engine. You will have better results with "Vancouver Public Library" than: where is the library is Vancouver?

If you want to become an effective Google user, have a look at some of these links: "Google tutorial"

You're welcome.

Now on to the results.

The number one search is (with variations)
~~ funny stanley steamer tv dog commercial ~~

This is the blog entry they found.

And this is what they were looking for:



Another popular search:
~~ false internet forward, soapbox rant ~~

This one didn't lead to a particular posting here, and frankly I can't figure out what the hell they are looking for. Any clues anyone?

Here is one of my Favourite searches:
~~ hmmm ~~

Yup, that's it, that's the search. Not. A. Clue.

Maybe it's some retro kid looking for the video for "Things That Make You Go Hmmm" Well offer it up, the video ain't on YouTube. The fact that I actually looked is really, really depressing.

Here's another odd search:
~~ myspace quiz so far in 2007 ~~

It landed the searcher here. (All my entries with the label "quiz")

But I think they may have wanted this: So Far in 2007 Survey. (At least I can't find anything better)

Whatever....

Another one that defies logic:
~~ hip bones poked ~~

I don't think I want to know what they were looking for, but this entry is what they found. Doubt that's what they wanted.

And to finish, something completely not relevant.

I was at the reference desk today looking over the newspaper and I had this conversion with my (much, much younger) colleague.

Me: "Hey, Charles Nelson Reilly died!"
Her: "Who?"
Me: "You know, the guy from The Match Game"
Her: "What?"
Me: "Never mind"

Mr. Reilly on Match Game (longish video)

Another Pet Food Recall Update

Here is a one stop shopping site that lists all American & Canadian pet foods that have been recalled.

The National Pet Foundation:

Dog food list

Cat food list

Hmmm, Lets See Now... What The Hell Was I Going To Tell You?

Here's a great video dedicated to all the people like me that walk around the house looking for their glasses... while wearing them.

(If you were born after 1970 - go away)

Pass On To Ten Friends And You Will Have Good Luck Forever!

I love my friends and family, I really do. But many of them need to understand some basic netiquette rules.

1. Not everyone has the same religious beliefs. Please find out mine before you send me stuff about Jesus / God. You will not convert me with an email, really you won't. After all I don't try to convert you? (Well except with the mind ray connection with Zuul, but the tinfoil hats have put a stop to that)

2. Enough with the dancing graphics. I don't want to see swaying flowers, kissing angels or any more of those fucking Anne Geddes babies.

3. I refuse to forward your email to 5/10/15 of my closest friends. Either they A) send me shit like this themselves and I don't want to encourage them, or B) I want them to continue liking me. The only stuff I forward is the occasional video that I like, and I'm more likely to either post those here, or send friends a youtube link to same.

4. Please, please, please do a little research before forwarding stuff. Most of the shit along the lines of < dying kids with last wishes / threats to my phone line / women getting mugged in parking lots > is a big load. Please check out Snopes (Urban Legends Reference Pages) before passing on this type of information. And please trust me, if I post anything along those lines here (such as the pet food recall), I've done my research.

Not to say that I don't occasionally get it wrong, but I do try to check my facts. The only BS I post here, is intentionally so, and meant as humour. FYI, snopes is easy to use, but the search box is not in your face. Look for the magnifying glass on the lower right side. Also check out their photo gallery for some interesting / weird / funny stuff.

And just to push the point, here is a flash video that makes the point better than I can: Soapbox

Nothing But The Original For Me? (Part II)

I've never been a fan of Nine Inch Nails. In fact I don't think that before last year I could have named even one of their songs.

Then I discovered (via I don't remember) Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt:



and I loved it with a capital L.O.V.E.

So I decided to give the original a shot:



Sorry man, but it leaves me cold, cold, cold.

Of course after I discovered the Cash version I had to buy this album:


1955-2003: Legend Of.

When I was young(er) I would never had admitted to liking Johnny Cash, but now, of course, he's cool again. And frankly I don't give a shit anyway.

But back to my main point (I do have one, I do!)

I did discover one version of Hurt that may just compete with the Johnny Cash version.

From the Man in black to the amphibian in green:



A little "pitchy" perhaps (Damn you Randy Jackson) but certainly filled with feeling, and not a few disturbing images.

Oh, and if you haven't visited it yet, and you like Johnny Cash, then I really do suggest his web site. The audio section has some 20 songs that you can listen to online - great for instant Johnny Cash radio @ work

Happy, Happy Wedding

Addendum (May 22, 2007)

Big brother said I can post a picture of the actual couple on the big bad Internet.

So here you go. (and aren't they cute!)

---

So my big brother got married on Saturday.

Beautiful ceremony, lovely bride, handsome groom (big brother cleans up well!), and everyone happy.

Big brother is a bit of stickler for internet privacy, so I'm only going to post a few non identifying pictures.

The church is quite grand.



With some gorgeous stained glass windows.



Here is the cake. Please note the bride & groom figurines; they are exact duplicates of the actual bride & groom.



All the other pictures show real live people... sigh.

They had their reception @ the False Creek Yacht club.

It was on the top floor. You can see the balcony here (under the white banner).



There's a wonderful view across a marina and False Creek.



The food was very, very good and was provided by Peake of Catering. Good choice guys!

In any case, join me in a toast to the happy new couple, may they have a billion years of joy :-)

Big Day Tomorrow

Can't write tonight 'cause I have to go to bed early(ish). My big brother is getting married tomorrow.

Hello I'm Britell

You have Brangelina & Benifer, so what is your celebrity couple name?

To find out go to the Celebrity Couple Name Maker.

And remember if you don't like the results try reversing the order you enter the names.

So for me & the hubster (Russell) it came up with Britell. Meh...

My mom used to call us collectively Brissell (part couple, part carpet cleaner, buy one today!), so nothing else sounds quite right to me.

When I was little we had friends who called my parents Billke (Bill & Elke). Has a rather Swedish sound to it I think.

Here are some fantasy celebrity couples:

Martha Stewart & Osama bin Laden = Marama
Prince Charles & Madonna = Madles
Buckey & Satchel (From Get Fuzzy) = Buchel
George Bush & Hilary Clinton = Geoary
Ann Coulter & Barack Obama = Barann

And for something sure to piss some people off:
Jesus & Mary (Magdelene) = Jesary