If You're Stupid And You Know It... GET OFF THE INTERNET

This cartoon sums it up for me:



I don't usually read through ALL the comments on other peoples blogs, just don't have the time. But I do try to read at least some comments attached to posts I've enjoyed.

From my experience most comments are left by people who: 1. enjoyed the post. 2. Were in some way moved by the post. 3. Are leaving answers to questions in the post. But then there are the others...

It seems that there is a pack of 12 year old boys (either literally or figuratively) out there that have nothing better to do than leave nasty comments on other peoples blogs. I actually couldn't at this time find a good example to post here as most bloggers (at least the ones I read) are pretty fast about removing them. But the type of comment I'm talking about usually is along the line of the "poo poo" joke; a couple of bad words directed towards the blogger. Mostly these type of comments just make you wonder why these "kids" find this so funny. What I find amusing about them is that often they will put the blogger down for wasting their time blogging, but the commenter doesn't think it's a waste of time to comment on it.

These type of comments can range from the boringly misspelled "fuk yu, yur stoopid" (Yes I've actually seen that one, just can't find it now" To the slightly more comprehensible and longer "helpful" message. Dooce periodically writes about some of the email that she gets that falls into this category.

Here is a perfect example from her archives:

Now let me get this straight...you actually blog for a living? If your webaite doesn’t demonstrate that any idiot can make a living by posting crap on the internet, I don’t know what does. You have a great scam going on let me tell you. Write letters to your daughter, post pictures of your dog and ...AND GET PAID for it. Wow you’re living the American Dream...sitting around your house with a camera on your neck just waiting for SOMEBODY...ANYBODY...to do SOMETHING...that I CAN WRITE ABOUT.

Yeah I don't see you regretting your life 20 years from at all.

You're an absolute joke of the worst kind...GET A FRIGGIN LIFE.

And I hope your dog runs away and never comes back because that would be the best day ever!

So this fine gentleman spent 129 words telling Dooce that she is wasting her time. And isn't his spelling and grammar wonderful!

IF YOU DON'T ENJOY THE BLOG, DON'T READ IT - this isn't rocket science people.

Of course there is another level of hate comments / mail:

For proof that the Internet should be licensed, read this entry from Creating Passionate Users. I'm not going to quote anything here, because there's too much to quote and it just pisses me off!

August update: Link now leads to main page of Creating Pasionate Users and explains why the site is no longer updated. For background on the original post check out this BBC post.

I could give you a kazillion more examples, but the trolls already know where this stuff is, and decent people really don't need to see more.

Of course it's very easy for me to la-dee-da about the issue as it has never happened to me because no-one ever comments! I know people read this piece of crap as I do check my stats.

So please if you read this blog and enjoy it, let me know in the comments section. If you don't like it and you have constructive criticism, let me know that too. Hell, you can tell me anything, just please be polite about it.

Thanks for visiting and please, have some toast

Ikea - Swedish For Mycket Rolig

Thanks to Dooce, I have now been subjected to the sicko world of foreign Ikea commercials.

I like this one:



The search banned ikea gets you the best of the bunch, but it won't get you this one:



Ok kids, all together - AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Everyone who has every put together a Billy bookshelf knows and understands the "joys" of Ikea instructions. If you know what I mean (or even if you don't) check out the Ikea instructions on Neville's Garden. You won't do any worse following his instructions rather than the official ones.

From Marketallica, photos of various Ikea advertising campaigns. I really like the first one.

And to finish off... There actually is an Ikea Blog.

Above link comes with no warranties as I haven't had a chance to really check it out yet.

Thank you and goodnight, try the Swedish meatballs

Not For The Sober

To start you off, have a Beer

You're gonna need a drink or six to stomach this GOP piece of shit:



The really sad thing is that I wasn't that shocked with the video. This type of "political" advertising seems pretty normal these days. I particularly liked the end bit with the Cleaver family smiling and driving away. Do you really think the Cleavers would have let Vernon Robinson live next door to them, never mind vote for him in an election?

How can you tell that Canadians are too broke to make their own ads?



Of course it's wishy washy as most Canadian political advertising and doesn't pack the punch of the original. (I don't like the original, but at least it's a bit different)

Also, I can't speak to Hamilton hotel rates as I've never stayed in one there. But pretty well anywhere else I have stayed $99.00 wouldn't be considered expensive for a room.

Did you enjoy that beer? How about some drugs? No, really have some drugs - after all they are endorsed by the BEST president American ever had!



(via MamaPop!)

American Idol Update

Ok, ok, I'll admit it. I AM enjoying the show. But don't think for one second that I take it the least bit seriously.

So I've gathered for you today a few American Idol (and their foreign counterparts) oddities.

Please enjoy in the spirit in which I intended (pure sarcastic bitchiness!)

All you really need to know about Paula



Although most of the contestants aren't that great, they aren't that bad (better than me, like that's hard!)
And there are two that I'm rooting for: Chris Sligh and Melinda Doolittle.

In most cases the singers this season are more into R&B, rock, or funk; NOT sugary pop. so that makes their weekly Ford commercials very amusing. You can tell that they are not really into it, but it's part of the package.

Here's the lollipop latest:



Of course American Idol is not just an American show. It started in England and then infested the entire world. So without further ado, aus Deutschland:

This fellow is a CANADIAN competing on Deutschland sucht den Superstar (German Idol).



And from the same show. This woman is a wife of one of the people in the band Greenskeepers. I introduced you to them earlier with the video Lotion.
Warning: NSFW

I'll Take Things That Are Cute For $200 Alex

After my last rather depressing entry I thought I'd post a trio of lighter stuff.

1. I know everyone has already seen this, but who doesn't love a panda?
   
   



2. Would you like some music with that?
   
   
   
   For some background on Nora, check out Ravenswing Studio



3. And finally from the New Yorker magazine:
   The Wisdom of Children (I like the first entry the best)

IMPORTANT - Pet Food Recall

As you all may know there is a massive recall of dog and cat food due to kidney failure problems.

Only wet food is being recalled (canned or foil pouch)

There are 51 different brands being recalled for dogs & 42 for cats - all produced by Menu foods.

The link to all the information is here for dogs and here for cats.

If you see a brand that you feed your pet on the list you can click on the product name for more information.

I would also recommend checking out the homepage for the individual brands.

I already checked out the two brands that Brat enjoys. Brat only eats dry food, but I wanted to be sure.

Nutro is recalling it's food - wet only.

Royal Canine is NOT recalling it's food. (August update: Yes they are.

If you feed your pets any wet food, please, please, please check out the menu foods links above

b

Always Look At The Bright Side Of Death

Just found this little gem.

A just over 4 minute clip from Graham Chapman's funeral. It features John Cleese being about as funny (& silly!) as one can at a funeral. If you wish to read it, the text version is here

the eulogy is followed by a rousing chorus of "Always look at the bright side of life"

What a shame that Chapman couldn't have been there to witness the event.



And for the 4 people that haven't see the original song (from "Life of Brian") here it is:

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling

Oh right, I forgot...

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone

Snap, Crackle, Vlerrrrgggg

Have you ever wanted to put something other than food into a blender?

If you say no, I'll know you're lying. So fess up!

Unless you own one of these babies you are probably too timid to try anything stronger than ice for your pina colada.

Well the fine folk @ Blendtec found a way to demonstrate their commercial grade home blender to people.

Ladies and gentlemen: Will It Blend?

My current fave: GLOW STICKS




Have fun kids, and remember - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME (and if you do, don't sue me!)

So That's Why He Walks Funny

Favourite quote so far from the book I'm currently enjoying:

"I will knock you so far into next week, it will take a surgeon to remove Wednesday from your ass."

The book is:



For info look at book's page on Amazon

Google Me Up A Scarf, Baby

A fun and sassy approach to searching the web.

Introducing Ms. Dewey

You want sound for this one.

Try the "Best of Dewey" button for some of the best responses.

And on a totally unrelated note.

I love this scarf:



If you want to knit it you can find the pattern @ knitty

Lots of other great patterns too @ their main site

Ego Trip

So you think you are unique. Chances are you aren't

Here is how to check:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 18 people named Britt Baker in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Couldn't find a site like this for Canada.

If I search for myself (whynot!) on Google I come up with very different stuff depending if I search for "britt s. baker" or "britt baker"

Everything under "britt s. baker" is me (or one of those stupid sites that want me to buy information on the person I'm looking for - fat chance)

But searching on "britt baker" results in tonnes of stuff not related to me.

According to Google here are some of my other persona's:

• An anime voice actor


• An Iowan business man with more knowledge of electricity than I have. (Not that difficult - electricity comes from the juice fairies, right?)


• Scary, scary myspace person. Sidebar; I don't get myspace. Every myspace site I've ever looked at looks like it was designed by an 8 year old. Too much colour, movement, sound. Too many links and images. Use the kiss principal people!

And really that's pretty well it. With only 18 people on the US census with my name, I guess that's about all I can expect.

Ok having told you what I think of junior grade websites like myspace, let me close with a stupid animated gif:

I Paid My $20...

... now leave me in peace

If you anything like me you get sick and tired of having to sit through 5 billion ads at the beginning of every dvd you rent / buy.

If that isn't enough you then get hit with those $%$#%$^$% anti-piracy spots.

Well someone came up with a brilliant poster that illustrates my feelings perfectly:



Seems to me the only place worthwhile putting anti-piracy messages is on pirated material - not the stuff that's actually been paid for.

Ya - like that will happen!

Old Technology / New Technology

First the old

What to do if your book isn't working for you



And then the new

A great video that simply explains what web 2.0 is all about

Baaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white as snow
Until it ate Mary's face,
Then it was a tad bloodstained



Best line in the trailer: violence of the lambs

Stop, I Want Off This Planet!

Please, please, can we make murder legal for 10 minutes? 10 short minutes is all we need....



Everyone is really pissed off!

How can ANYONE stand this woman? That she gets any respect from anyone just blows me away. She doesn't even have an addiction to blame this on, she's just an idiot.

Hey Ann, ya you Ann. Wanna take a ride in my really cool 1977 Pinto? My friend with the big Ford Exploder will be following us. Ok? ok?

---

and on a lighter note


Hi, I'm a MAC, I have no life....

[PC vs MAC - The Girl]


See more @ lauriemcguinness.com


Thanks once again to MamaPop for the malignant links.

Well, That's A Relief!

I don't think I have ever seen an ad like this before... Frankly I didn't know that this was even a problem

(screen capture from a Stanley Steemer commercial)

Sulu Scores!

George Takei takes Tim Hardaway down a notch



Thanks George :-)

And if you need some background, here's part of the original interview



What an asshole!

The World Needs More Lerts...

I think it's time for western Europe to move up to a plaid alert
(June 15 update - sorry dead link and I can't for the life of me find the story again)

And speaking of alerts

We all know this one:



but you gotta admit this one is much much cooler:



Ooooohhhh, scary: